If Maxine Was There It Was Special
I’ve written about my dear cousin a lot but sometimes “a lot” isn’t enough.
I have photos of Maxine and me sitting together when we were toddlers and in a playpen; photos of Maxine and me playing together on “the roof” of the Morrowfield; really cute photos of Maxine and me at the Alpine Swim Club, age 16, sitting far away from the rest of the people, combing our hair in the sun, and of course giggling.
Maxine went to Colfax and I went to Minadeo; that made her seem far away and out of reach. Now, though, I can see that we didn’t live very far apart. In the summers we managed to see each other, to play together. We didn’t play games or sports; we either worked together on an art project and we talked/talked/talked. I don’t think we ever had a fight; from the first we got along just as if we were twins. Our mothers were first cousins; that doesn’t sound like a close, tight bond. But it must be understood that the clan in which we grew up made faraway kinships present and real. My mother always said that she felt as if Bryna (Shore) and her sister Audrey (Maxine’s mom) were siblings, not first cousins.
We liked to be alone in a room that had a door we could close; why? We were passionately interested in facts about growing up, maturing, becoming women just like our mothers. We longed for the arrival of all the signs that put us on the road to womanhood. In our world being a woman was the most desirable state of body and mind. As it turned out these bodily signs showed themselves in me first, before Maxine. But was she jealous? No, never. She was as excited as I was.
I had a set of four books, all given to me either at Hanukkah or when I performed well in a piano recital. One of these books was about the human body’s systems. We read the chapter on the reproductive system, over and over. Of course, this was written in vague words…it never actually told Maxine and me how babies were born. Sigh. We had to be content with what we had.
It was special if Maxine was there–at the cousins’ picnics, at the school picnic at Kennywood, finally, finally graduating and entering Allderdice and having classes together! Talk about bliss.
However, one day when we were in 10th grade World History class and Maxine had a date set up to go out with Harold for the first time, notes passed back and forth between the two of us every time the teacher turned his back. That was a story with a happy ending. Maxine was so, so elated after she first met Harold. I remember talking to her on the phone that Sunday. It was a success.
Sometimes I can’t bear going to Pittsburgh. I haven’t been there since my mother died. When I go downtown and see Macy’s–which was Kaufmann’s then–and the clock, if it’s still there–I think of many Saturdays waiting to meet Maxine under that clock, then going in to look at dresses. Feeling like real women because following those afternoons we would be seeing each other that night on a double date with our boyfriends.
Real women at last.
lgmwriting 