Cousin Brown
My mother’s first cousin, Bryna Shore, was given a new name by Lee Skirboll when Lee was very young, learning to talk. The children in the family called this adult cousin “Cousin Bryna.” However, Lee called her Cousin Brown. It was one of those things that happen in a family that make you feel kind of good all over. Bryna always referred to herself as Cousin Brown after that.
As usual I was my little “sponge” self, able to take in bits and pieces of adult conversations and try to make sense of them–so I can remember certain words and phrases that my mother used while talking to the women in the female clan. This was true of conversations with Cousin Brown.
One time my mother was driving the car, I was in the back, and Bryna was in the passenger seat. Now it’s obvious that they were talking about their husbands or men in general because Bryna said “I could put a crown on that man’s head.”
Whoa!! Who was she talking about? It had to be her husband “Cousin Nate.” But listening to this knocked me out. I always loved words and their meanings within the female clan, so immediately I knew: She really, really loves “Cousin Nate.” What else could it mean? It is a great example of the way in which I learned about life and loving, just by hanging around these women. I catch myself becoming a little sad about all these people who are gone, but I’m strict with myself about staying positive. I am grateful that I’m still here and I remember so many things and have a means to record and share them.
It is true that Cousin Brown had her bad times; she experienced deep plunges into black moods and found it hard to function. One day I was coming down the steps and I could hear my mother talking to her on the phone. I overheard her say: Bryna, you know that cartoon with Popeye, Bluto, and Olive Oyl, that the kids watch? Somebody, I guess it was Popeye, says: I am what I am and that’s all that I am…” So maybe you should say that to yourself when you feel bad.
I stopped in my tracks because I didn’t want my mother to know I was listening. On the other hand, she wasn’t trying to be really private. So, I thought about this. Bryna was going through a hard time, I thought. My mother was trying desperately to help. I was very young and I did not know about psychological disorders. I could only think what I always thought, that within this group of which I was a member there always would be help.
lgmwriting 