Michael Turns 9 and the Whole World Shifted
When I was a college student and also a graduate student I learned a lot about child psychology. One fact that lodged itself in my memory was the following: there is an age span, between the ages of 9 – 14, when boys begin to emerge from childhood and begin to take on adolescent characteristics. I was forcefully reminded of this when my own son turned nine in July, 1992.
It was a year of change for the three of us. I became ill with Lyme’s Disease and I had a long tussle with this awful illness that sapped the life out of me, for a while. I went to every doctor and none knew anything that could help me. I turned to alternative medicine, in my case it was guided imagery. Every day I listened to this “healing tape” which provided healthy and healing mental images. I began to get well within days.
During my illness, when I could barely walk, Michael became nine years old and–I swear this is true–he had been quietly waiting to grow up and move on. The days of his quiet activities were gone. At home, he took over a lot of duties that had been mine. He set the table. made his bed, helped serve food, but most importantly he helped me get better. He sat with me and we did crossword puzzles and word find puzzles. It was as if he had been shot out of a cannon. Where was this energy coming from? It was after I learned about his IQ that I realized: he had been bored in the child world and wanted entry into the sphere of the adults.
Bill Clinton ran for president that fall and Peter and Michael worked as volunteers at our Democratic headquarters. Michael was everywhere at once–handing out leaflets, running errands, answering the phones. There is a (mild) bad side to this. He became a little too proud of himself and his ego swelled up like a balloon. All the adults were in awe of this little boy, rushing around with a clipboard. But things could have been a lot worse, as we all know. We were intensely proud of him and he had a part in my gaining my health back.
A few years ago Michael told me something that made me cry. He confided that when I was well again and not having to stay on my bed or on the couch all day, he missed my being ill because we had these fun times doing word finds together. He didn’t want to hurt my feelings, he said, but he wanted me to know that he enjoyed the time I was sick. The whole truth is that I didn’t want my time with Lyme’s Disease to traumatize my son, so I got the idea of working on puzzles together–something where I didn’t have to move around. I’m proud to say that I got full marks for being a good mother from my husband and others who knew what was going on.
lgmwriting 