Many couples have a “song” that was popular when they were falling in love. I have three of them and I want to write fully about them without feeling silly. Love is never silly.
When I was first in love at age 16-17 the year was 1967. The mid sixties had some of the best music ever; there were tons of talented composers, artists, and singers on the radio every single day. There is nothing like first love. I’ve never been able to capture in words what it was like. Parents don’t want you to fall in love at that time in your life–but I was so happy then, so contented, that nothing went wrong; my grades went up and I was singing in the school choir. The song that was “ours” was Happy Together by The Turtles.
Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight
So happy together.
If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together.
Having reviewed this time in my life, I think this all came upon me too early and I couldn’t handle it and it exploded in my face.
When I met Mark Hoffman I was 19 and he was 20. There was never a time when I needed a friend/comrade/lover more and he was all those things. My father had died; I was fighting with my family; I hadn’t gotten over the traumatic ending of my first love; I felt ugly and worthless. Then here’s this boy who came from a different place, read poetry and liked to talk and take long walks, listen to music while holding me in his arms as we lay on the couch in his student apartment. It really was quite beautiful and I’ll never forget what we had. The song that was popular just then was Bob Dylan’s Lay Lady Lay.
Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed
Stay lady stay, while the night is still ahead…
Why wait any longer for the world to begin
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he’s standing, in front of you…
The words were perfect and fit my situation exactly. I felt I had been waiting for years to find somebody who really loved me, somebody who would liberate me, somebody
who would never leave me and build a world with me. Mark made me feel beautiful and
and sexy and most important–worthy of esteem. Mark liked strong women and always cared about what I thought. Our talks were endless. Also, my strong libido got in the way of rational thought; my sexual experience before Mark had awakened me and I
wanted a lover. I found that in Mark along with all his other attributes. We were meant, it turned out, to stay in that place; marriage unfortunately did not suit us. After we split up we tried a reconciliation but it only lasted three months.
Peter and I have many songs. After 40 years it makes sense. In the early years we liked listening to Danny’s Song by Kenny Loggins. There are, in the lyrics, lines like “People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one…we’ve just begun…think I’m gonna have a son. He will be like she and me, free as a dove, conceived in love,
sun is gonna shine above.” Peter had a lot on his plate to handle. Burned–kicked aside hard–my heart pulverized by age 18, my father dying, then Mark and the divorce…talk about baggage. However, Peter was carrying baggage himself. So we threw together what we had and made a life; it’s not a life based on taking the easy way. It’s a hand-built, authentic existence; a lot of healing happened on both sides. Our absolute favorite song:
Oh we ain’t got a barrel of money
Maybe we’re ragged and funny
But we travel along, singing our song
Side by side.
Oh we don’t know what’s coming tomorrow
Maybe it’s trouble and sorrow
But we travel the road, sharing the load
Side by side.
When they’ve all had their troubles and parted
We’ll be the same as we started
Just traveling along, singing our song.
Side by side.
The line: When they’ve all had their troubles and parted, we’ll be the same as we started. Because over the years we’ve been friends with so many couples who have
split up and gone apart–used to make me sad.
lgmwriting 