Downtown men part 2
Joe Tiberino was a white man, married to a Black woman named Ellen. Both were talented and celebrated artists. This was another first–I’d never met a couple of mixed race. Their home in West Philadelphia was sheer chaos; the smell drove me away and I never could spend much time there. I liked Bacchanal much better. The Tiberino’s had three children who were all beautiful creatures and most of all, they had this intense love for life and the world around them and the people they met. Being so shy I again could hardly speak around this group but the children were nice to me and I admired them. All seemed to have inherited their parents’ talent.
Peter had loved Ellen, really loved her until he learned Ellen was married. He met her on the Germantown trolley and Peter fell immediately violently drawn to her. She was nice to him and told him that she was married to Joe and he, Peter, could come around any time he’d like. That’s how it all got started.
To me, Joe and Ellen were like a pair of gods, stepping calmly over all the hurdles and warnings of society. They did as they liked and were good to others. Ellen’s way of dealing with Joe was interesting and in this way I learned more about Black people. Joe was openly unfaithful to Ellen; he had many girlfriends, all Black. Ellen calmly went along with her life and seemed to not be bothered. When I asked Peter about this he said that in his experience, Black women who were hooked up with white men allowed their men many, many, freedoms. They didn’t expect fidelity. Another fact in my slowly building pile of new information.
Ellen had cancer which began as cervical cancer and was left untreated. The cancer spread and she was ill for more years than I’d like to tell. Here’s yet another fact, an unpleasant one–in that time it was unusual for Black women from a certain place in society to get regular medical care. A simple PAP smear would have saved her life. This shocked me and I did not believe it for a long time. Once, when I went to the local hospital for a mammogram I found some information about women of color and health care. I read that, in part, this problem came from the fact that Black women didn’t trust the white medical establishment.
Finally, when Ellen was dying Joe had a girlfriend named Sam. Sam got pregnant with Joe’s baby at the same time I was pregnant with Michael. The boys were born within days of each other…two beautiful baby boys. After Gabriel was born, Sam was accepted as part of the family and Joe’s family accepted Gabriel into the Tiberino family with no holding back. Nobody cared who was whose father or mother. I can think of worse scenarios…
When Ellen, who was pretty much bed-ridden by then, heard news of the coming of Gabriel, her comment was: Bring him around. Don’t ask me why but I loved that.
Being around these downtown men and women caused some minor upheavals on my part. I was shocked by some of it at first but sometimes it’s good and healthy to be jolted out of your normal pattern of living. I loved all these people even if I barely talked to most of them. I loved watching them living their lives and painting, sculpting, doing their fancy calligraphy.
It was a good thing, being a part of a group of people who didn’t ask questions, showed each other respect, and were of a different color than I was.
lgmwriting 