Yesterday, Yellow Submarine, and my mom
Of all the Beatles songs–and I know I’m going out on a limb–Yesterday’s lyrics and melody are the most haunting. I got to see this for myself.
My father died in December of 1968. The protection, the dignity, the life patterns my mother lived by and enjoyed so deeply with my Dad–all was gone. She felt naked. She was only 43 and her life was over; that’s how she felt. However, at the age of 18 I was of no help. Infuriated, longing to be free and not have to face what happened, the weird suburb of Swisshelm Park becoming a tomb overnight—total horror. I was “totally into myself” as the kids say and I began plotting my escape. It was so much pain–so much expected of me–it was intolerable and I have to say that I wasn’t a nice person then. I felt nothing but hatred. I was so angry at my father because he left me here on earth without his quiet presence to guide me…
As the winter passed and spring came we all felt a little better. My mother, having been stripped naked, began to pay attention to other avenues of life. One of them was music, not “adult” music but OUR music, our generation’s. When she first listened to Yesterday her face changed and she told me that those words by Lennon and McCartney were about her. “…now I need a place to hide away…” Also, the movie Yellow Submarine came out and we all went and I remember that as being one of the few fun times we had. My mother was so happy; she thought the music was great; and she began to love the Beatles. Then she started liking Simon and Garfunkel.
I wish I had been nicer then. How completely futile. Years and years later I was given a chance to make it up to my mom when she got so sick with Alzheimer’s Disease. I have to be content with that and I eternally thank Lennon and McCartney for providing the key…
lgmwriting 